Divorce can often feel like the end of the line for many people, particularly as we get older. It’s hard to imagine a life on your own after spending decades with the same person by your side; it can be lonely and difficult to picture that you will ever be happy again.
However, 102-year Dr Gladys McGarey is proof that divorce does not mean that you have come to any sort of expiration date and that life can actually improve for many after a divorce.
The Divorce
Gladys McGarey is 102 years old, and it’s safe to say that she knows the secrets of a well-lived life. In an interview with the Guardian, she revealed that Bill, her husband of 46 years, handed her divorce papers shortly before her 70th birthday. Bill mentioned that he’d had the papers in his briefcase for six months and that he’d appreciate it if she signed it promptly.
Bill and Gladys weren’t just married for decades, they were also close colleagues and founders of the American Holistic Medical Association in 1978. They had worked side by side for the entirety of their marriage. So Gladys wasn’t just losing her husband, but her business partner at the same time.
To make things even worse for Gladys, it emerged that Bill had started a relationship with another work colleague.
“It blindsided me”
Gladys was completely shocked by the sudden divorce, she said, “It blindsided me. I was broken.” Like many people, she was surprised when her spouse of over four decades suddenly put divorce papers on the table.
She says that, at the time, the end of her relationship was “the hardest thing” she’s ever faced. Harder than the two separate bouts of cancer she went through.
Gladys and her daughter Helene had started their own practice together after the divorce and this was the thing that got her out of bed in the morning. She says it wasn’t a matter of getting over things but rather just trying to live through it.
“If you can live through the issues that you’ve been faced with, they become one of your teachers.”
Healing didn’t happen overnight for Gladys, and it took another couple of decades for her to truly accept that the marriage was over and that it was time to let it go. She says it wasn’t until she was 93 that she really accepted what happened, once she received an invitation to Bill’s wedding.
Gladys remembered a verse from the Bible that said, “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.’” So, she purchased a license plate for her car that read, “BE GLAD.”
Treasuring the past and reclaiming the future
Her number plate was a reminder and testament that there had been plenty of things in her marriage that she really treasured and that she could remember it with some sort of happiness.
She realizes now that her divorce was an extremely important turning point in her life. In the interview, she stated, “Prior to that, I really didn’t trust my own voice.” Being dyslexic meant that at school, she always felt slow. “I really didn’t think I had a voice,” she says, yet, “I knew I had a voice. After the divorce, it was no longer Bill and Gladys, it was Gladys McGarey MD. I reclaimed what I had, not just as Bill’s partner.”
“I don’t regret one minute that I spent as Bill’s wife,” she says. “My life has taken on these amazing dimensions that are completely not associated with him,” she says. “What I chose is working for me.”
Your life doesn’t end with divorce
Gladys’ struggle is a familiar one, and many people that get divorced late on might believe that their life is coming to an end, but the complete opposite is true. It’s an opportunity to learn a new way of living in which you take your own needs into account before your spouse’s.
Gladys never remarried. “People would ask if I was dating, and I would say: ‘Why would I want to take care of another old man? No, thank you.’”
She is proof that even if you never end up with another partner, life can be bold and exciting after divorce – you can truly find your own voice.
Heal from divorce and look forward to a bright future
Of course, a divorce is still traumatic, and it’s important to work through the process and heal from it in order to look forward to a bright and successful future. Gladys McGarey took decades to finally accept her divorce, but when you do a divorce program from Naked Recovery, you won’t have to wait that long to get started on the rest of your life.
Contact us to find out how we can help you heal from divorce and other traumas.
