Hi I’m Simon – better known for being the other half to Adele Theron-
Although I work with Adele on the business-side of NakedRecoveryOnline and NakedDivorce (I also have no own businesses), I usually stay the hell out of delivering any content. Over the years though I been asked the same questions time-and-time again so I decided it was time to get the answers out there for others to read if they so wished.
Many a friend has tried to gain my inside perspective of what it’s like being married to Adele Theron one of the worlds best relationship counsellors. People are surprised by my answers.
So here goes. I’ve listed the three most common questions, and answers them below-
Q1: What’s it like to married to relationship counsellor?
A: Tough.
Q2: Do you have the perfect marriage?
A: No.
Q3: Will your marriage last for ever?
A: I don’t know!
Not your expected answers?
I’m guessing these aren’t the answers you were expecting right? So let me explain in more details…
Q1: What’s it like to married to relationship counsellor?
A: Tough.
I say being married to a relationship counsellor is tough, because we place our relationship and our personal dynamic under the microscope more than most.
For us, marriage was not simply a letter we’d sign and then forget. Assuming that our future would nothing but idyllic forever more. Far from it.
We always knew we’d have to work at it. And sometimes that work is ‘tough’, challenging, and damn right annoying. It is however critical.
For us that commitment was about working through those tough times, staying committed to the relationship and dealing with any issues that will inevitable come along to the best of our ability, even if we don’t feel like doing so in the midst of battle.
The answer is sensitivity.
Whats the difference between an average car driver, and world best F1 drivers?
The answer is sensitivity.
The average car driver may adjust their steering, acceleration, braking, and clutch control let’s say five times a second. The F1 driver does it 1000 times a second.
Whilst the average car driver knows what gear they are in, if they are braking, accelerating etc. The F1 driver knows microscopic details about the behaviour of the car. They know if the tyres are under-inflated, if they have a flat-spot, if the vehicle is heavy (full of fuel) or light, if the car is over-steering, under-steering, if the brakes are warm, etc. etc. etc.
My point is the F1 driver makes 100 probably thousands more microscopic changes to how they drive the vehicle. The drive may appear silky-smooth from the outside, that’s only achieved by all the microscopic adjustments taking place on the inside.
Well our relationship is like that.
We make changes all-the-time. Our relationship changes and evolves constantly. Rules that were right yesterday, may not be right tomorrow. If necessary we will re-evaluate, re-discuss and set new rules as we need to.
We don’t get the luxury of walking over things because they aren’t fun to discuss, or because I/we would prefer to avoid a challenging conversation. We address them.
So yes it’s tough. It’s hard work – but I’m so grateful to have the relationship I have with Adele if that’s the fuel that makes this car run – then it’s a small price to pay.
Q2: Do you have the perfect marriage?
A: No.
I’m not sure there is anything that’s perfect.
Even if we achieved a state of relationship perfection today, by tomorrow things have changed. The world is in constant flux, and so are we individually, and as a partnership.
I do what I can to provide and deliver what she needs
The support and assets she needs from me may change, and visa-versa. And I do what I can to provide and deliver what she needs within my own abilities and capabilities.
Personally I’ve given up trying to be an ‘expert’ at anything. If someone describes me as an expert of this or that, that nice to hear but that’s for them to decide, not me. Instead I strive to be the best student I can be. To me that approach get’s me closer to whatever an ‘expert’ really is, and keeps me learning, keeps me hungry, and keeps me growing.
Q3: Will your marriage last for ever?
A: I don’t know!
Well who the hell does.
If you think you can say for absolute certainty that your marriage will last forever then I think you’re living in dream land. Many a relationship has failed, despite the best efforts of the parties involved.
Hell, if for some reason I became an abusive horrible husband, quite frankly I hope Adele would ditch me (I have no plans to commit to that by the way), and I’d deserve it.
People grow, people change
People grow, people change. I remember very profoundly Adele telling me that she was committed to growth and change. At the time that was a very challenging statement to receive. To commit to someone having no idea of what that person would be like in the future wrestled with my logic for a while. Ultimately though I loved the honesty and truth of it.
I would however say that I am deeply committed to making this relationship last and survive any challenges that may come our way whatever they may be. I committed to that very seriously. That means I’m bound by my commitment to work through any of the challenges that come our way.
Was that of value?
I’m not sure if that’s been of any value. If it is let me know, send me a PM. If you have any questions you can also get in touch, I’ll assist and give you my perspective where I can.
Otherwise I’ll leave the content delivery to ‘my’ expert, Adele.
PS: The irony that if we did ever split up Adele would be ok again in 21 days. Whilst I’d be left a mess probably not allowed to take her 21 Day Get Over Divorce course is not wasted on me.
