One of the most difficult things about divorce is undoubtedly custody arrangements. Deciding how to share physical custody of your children is important, and it’s time to put any conflict and personal feelings aside to decide what’s best for your child or children.
Many parents split time equally with a 50/50 custody schedule. In this blog, I’m going to take a quick look at what the 50/50 schedule is, how it works, and some rotation examples that you can choose from to get what’s best for your family.
50/50 custody sharing is relatively self-explanatory, with children spending an equal amount of time with each parent. Studies have shown that it is important for both parents to remain actively involved in their children’s lives and that parental alienation should be avoided wherever possible.
The 50/50 split tends to provide stability and allows children time to bond with each parent. In the 2020 article “Children in dual-residence arrangements: a literature review,” published in the Journal of Family Studies, Rakel Berman and Kristian Daneback analyzed peer-reviewed feedback on this custody-sharing arrangement. They found that children living with these arrangements tend to be better off in a range of ways, such as health and mental well-being.
As with any parenting schedule, the success of the 50/50 custody arrangement also depends on the distance between parents, the health of the co-parenting relationship, the age and needs of the child/children, and each child’s views and preferences.
The 50/50 custody arrangement accommodates a range of schedules. Here are the most popular ways of splitting this type of schedule, the benefits and challenges of each one, and what type of family is more likely to thrive.
Here, the first co-parent spends two days with the children and the other co-parent gets the next two days. Then, the first parent gets the children for the last three days of the week again, and this will alternate every week. This means each parent gets every other weekend with their children. This does mean frequent transactions, but children don’t have to spend long apart from either parent.
Ideal For: Co-parents with a healthy relationship who live close to each other. Best suited to younger kids below the age of four.
It breaks the weeks up into three- and four-day sections. Kids spend three days with one parent and four days with the other, and then they reverse the order. This means kids don’t spend too much time away from either parent, and there’s only one transfer day a week. This allows a proper schedule to be developed and worked around.
Ideal for: Co-parents who live near each other and have structured work schedules. Best for younger children from kindergarten to about 8th grade.
Intervals are according to two weeks that are split into two- and five-day periods.
Children spend two days with each parent and then five days each. This allows quality time with both parents without being separated from the other for too long. This could be more challenging with children who don’t enjoy frequently switching homes.
Ideal for: Parents and kids whose schedule allows for a little flexibility. It is also ideal for younger children (up to 8th grade) who want to spend longer amounts of time with each parent.
Children spend one week with one of their parents and then the next week with the other. It’s super easy and simple to manage. This also allows more genuine bonding time between children and each parent. Might be too long for younger children to be apart from each parent.
Ideal for: Preteens, teenagers, and parents who are comfortable spending a week apart. In general, children should have a good relationship with both parents and are likely to be active with friends outside of family time, too.
The above are undoubtedly the most popular 50/50 schedules, but some parents opt for more uncommon variations, such as alternating every two weeks, every extended weekend with third-party time, and every extended weekend with a midweek overnight.
It’s agreed that these are more complicated agreements which could keep children away from their parents for too long. However, these could be ideal arrangements for parents who don’t live very close to each other.
There are a number of factors to consider when choosing the right schedule for your family:
At the end of the day, the best 50/50 custody-sharing agreement will be the one that brings the greatest value to your family. Parents must get enough time with their children, while children must be able to form bonds and attachments to both parents. It’s important to take your child into consideration first and foremost and work with your ex on how you can both accommodate their happiness in your custody agreement.
At Naked Recovery, we specialize in a number of traumas, including divorce trauma. We work with you and your ex to create healthy boundaries and a successful co-parenting plan that benefits you and your ex while focusing on your child’s happiness.
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